Amy Winehouse has stated that the courts have planted a bug up her ass, according to a lady who sat next to her on the New York Subway Friday.
"We were just sitting there on our way uptown when this lady with a strange hairdo and sort of wild look in her eyes told me she had a bug up her ass," Mrs Milo Waterhouse of Queens, told me.
"You see all kinds on the subway", she added, "but she was a hoot."
"Did you know who it was?"
"No. I still don't. There are so many here like that in New York. She got on right after I did and came and sat down real gingerly. Then she went into this longass story about a trial date she had coming up about her hitting someone and I'm thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me' so I just nodded my head like I always do, and gave her a kind smile.
"She then went on and on about the Police in Britain and DC with all these secret microphones really small but I refused when she told me to scream into her ass so it would cause the listener to go deaf."
"Why don't you just cut a big fart?', I asked and she said she tried but the bug kept her cheeks too far apart. I had to turn my head and laugh.
"Winehouse then reportedly wanted to show Waterhouse her ass to see if the FBI had planted "a bug up her wazzo!" because it had felt odd for days.
Then, according to Waterhouse, she claimed they might be related because of their last names, Winehouse and Waterhouse.
Mrs. Waterhouse said she told her they could be and tried to be nice.
"I couldn't help asking her about the fact that she might have been probed by aliens", laughed Waterhouse. "I'm an old fart, you know that?"
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i59798
Amy Winehouse: The Worst Dressed Female Celebrity
Lakeside Shopping Centre, in Thurrock, Essex has conducted an interesting poll recently. In accordance to the poll, Amy Winehouse has been named the worst dressed female celebrity! The poll has also revealed that showing off a flabby midriff is considered the most shocking offence among six out of 10 Britons.
Amy Winehouse topped the worst dressed poll for her dishevelled 1950s style. Jodie Marsh and Peaches Geldof were in second and third places respectively. Shell–suits tucked into socks, G–strings showing, head–to–toe animal prints, muffin tops, black shoes with white socks and the mullet haircut are all on the list of what not to wear.
With his pseudo–Victorian garb, Russell Brand has been picked as the worst dressed male, followed closely by Michael Jackson
, Simon Cowell and Mickey Rourke. When it comes to crimes against fashion, we've all been guilty of the odd misdemeanour – but there's no excuse for sloppy dressing.The poll has also unearthed fashion skeletons of more than 1,000 Britons. Shell–suits emerged as the most disastrous item for men, while puffball skirts topped the poll of closet catastrophes for women, just ahead of shoulder pads.
http://living.oneindia.in/insync/2009/amy-winehouse-dressed-female-celebrity-120609.html
Amy Winehouse topped the worst dressed poll for her dishevelled 1950s style. Jodie Marsh and Peaches Geldof were in second and third places respectively. Shell–suits tucked into socks, G–strings showing, head–to–toe animal prints, muffin tops, black shoes with white socks and the mullet haircut are all on the list of what not to wear.
With his pseudo–Victorian garb, Russell Brand has been picked as the worst dressed male, followed closely by Michael Jackson
, Simon Cowell and Mickey Rourke. When it comes to crimes against fashion, we've all been guilty of the odd misdemeanour – but there's no excuse for sloppy dressing.The poll has also unearthed fashion skeletons of more than 1,000 Britons. Shell–suits emerged as the most disastrous item for men, while puffball skirts topped the poll of closet catastrophes for women, just ahead of shoulder pads.
http://living.oneindia.in/insync/2009/amy-winehouse-dressed-female-celebrity-120609.html
Amy Winehouse Burned
This chick loves the gross pics...
Photos have been circulating of Amy Winehouse sporting a very weird patch of pink skin on her leg. Sources have revealed that the patch is the result of a burn she received while cooking pasta. Check it out below. Amy reportedly spilled boiling water on her leg while making dinner for friends.
A source said: "Amy's burns looked so painful - she should really get them looked at. They were covered in sand."
A spokesman said: "She's not in a lot of pain, she's just letting it breathe."
Meanwhile, heroin addict Gilleen Morris is claiming she is pregnant with Amy's estranged husband's baby.
http://www.411mania.com/music/news/102578/%5BPHOTO%5D-Amy-Winehouse-Burned.htm
Amy Winehouse: Headed Back to the Caribbean
Amy Winehouse's legal problems may have her banned in the USA right now, so what's a gal to do?
Head for the Caribbean.
It was announced earlier today that Winehouse is going to headline the 18th Annual St. Lucia Jazz festival in May. She had to drop out of next month's Coachella music festival in the California desert because she's unable to obtain a work visa in time due to lingering assault charges she's facing in the U.K.
Sen. Allen Chastanet, St. Lucia's Minister of Tourism, tells me talks with Winehouse began during her recent two-month vacation on the small island nation.
"When she was in St. Lucia, it really was a positive influence on her," Chastanet tells me. "She had a really great time."
Winehouse will perform May 8 with KC and the Sunshine Band opening for her. About 6,000 people per night are expected to attend the festival, which runs from May 2 to 10. Others on the bill include Patti LaBelle, Chaka Khan, Chicago and Michael McDonald.
Winehouse will be put up at the new $100 million Tides Sugar Beach resort.
"She's welcome to stay as long as she wants to," Chastanet says. "We enjoy having her there. I wish we had recording facilities for her. I know she was trying very hard to record her album down there. That is something the government is working on down the road."
Chastanet insists he's confident Winehouse will honor her commitment. "What's very nice about the whole thing is we spoke to her and we spoke to her management and she really wants to do this to say thank-you to St. Lucia," he said. "I think this is something that she legitimately wants to do. So on that basis, I'm really not nervous."
We're rootin' for you, St. Lucia!
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/marc_malkin/b104628_amy_winehouse_headed_back_caribbean.html
Amy Winehouse Released From Hospital
Amy Winehouse has reportedly been released from the hospital after collapsing in the Caribbean.
According to the Indo-Asian News Service, the troubled British singer was taken to a medical facility on the island of St. Lucia after suddenly falling ill.
A rep for Winehouse says she collapsed after running out of medication she had been using in her ongoing battle against drugs.
Winehouse has been enjoying some r&r at the resort since December, following numerous health problems throughout 2008, which included a stint in rehab and several prolonged stays in hospital.
According to the Indo-Asian News Service, the troubled British singer was taken to a medical facility on the island of St. Lucia after suddenly falling ill.
A rep for Winehouse says she collapsed after running out of medication she had been using in her ongoing battle against drugs.
Winehouse has been enjoying some r&r at the resort since December, following numerous health problems throughout 2008, which included a stint in rehab and several prolonged stays in hospital.
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